Last fall the NY Times ran a great article – “Do Happier People Work Harder?”. In it, the author cited results from The Gallup-Healthways Well-Being Index which indicated that Americans feel worse about their jobs — and work environments — than ever before.  Not too surprising. This assessment coupled with my own casual observations and conversations with frustrated friends and colleagues allows me to draw many conclusions about myself, the fate of the modern worker, and ultimately the fate of the L&D function. But it’s also lead me to think more about those of us who are truly stuck. Those of us who are the family bread-winner or who are in an area of the country where jobs are scarce.

How do you thrive when you’re stuck in job that sucks?

This was the question posed to me a few weeks ago by a friend who, trapped in a job with  an over-bearing micromanaging boss and no path to promotion, found himself feeling utterly lost. No matter how he looked at it, he had two unsatisfying choices.

1. Take another sucky job (lateral move) just to get out of the current sucky job, or
2. Go back to school, pay tons of money to get another degree and then try to leverage that degree to get a better job elsewhere

Let’s be clear, there’s nothing wrong with either option if you’re in a truly desperate situation (e.g. facing imminent job loss). But how many of us are making unfulfilling career moves, jeopardizing our financial security, accruing more debt, and further entrenching ourselves in a vicious cycle of job suckage without a clear understanding of what we want to achieve or how our personal and professional priorities should align for long-term fulfillment? All of us can identify traits of a sucky workplace or a lousy manager, but can we identify the traits within ourselves that help us build our resiliency and tolerate bad situations without it sucking our will to thrive?  Sure, making a sideways leap or defaulting to more education can be great ways to get out of a bad situation while re-engaging in your personal and professional development. But before you pursue what are potentially costly band-aid solutions it’s worthwhile to consider some less radical alternatives.

Own Your Future

“My manager doesn’t know how to manage.”

“The company’s leadership is clueless.”

“Know one listens to me.”

“The company/HR/my manager won’t allow me to _________ (insert use Twitter, telecommute, etc.)”

You know what’s wrong with all these statements? They’re all about casting yourself as the powerless victim to your job’s über-villain.

I’l grant you, these may all be true statements and your job may be toxic.  But when you’re in the midst of a suck-spiral (yeah, I just invented that) a multitude of missed opportunities, poor management decisions, and meat-grinder projects can leave you feeling hopelessly trapped. And when  you’re trapped, it’s really easy to externalize every problem AND every solution. Resist! You’re not a victim. You’re a capable, curious, intelligent ADULT with the power of choice.

Here’s one thing you should do instead: Make a list of things you like (if any) and dislike about your current job. Then, make another list of non-work things in your life that interest, intrigue, excite, annoy, or inspire you. Notice any common themes between the two lists?  Or, maybe they’re entirely different? Can you draw any conclusions about yourself based on these commonalities or differences? Is there any alignment between your personal life and your professional life?

Whatever process you choose for self-analysis and reflection, and whatever themes you uncover in your observations, you’re never going to learn to thrive if you don’t take ownership of developing yourself both personally and professionally.

Share, Connect, Interact

• Tap your PLN. If I could write a book about my professional evolution, it might be called something like “How my PLN Saved me from Professional Suicide and Career Obscurity”. In the past 6 months alone I’ve found more emotional support, learning opportunities, personal career coaching, free resources – not to mention freelance opportunities – through my PLN than I ever thought possible.  Building and nurturing a network of fellow professionals is the single smartest thing you can do. Period.

• Stop venting. Start exploring. Sometimes we try to shield the people closest to us. We fear we’ll sound like a broken record or that we’ll be complaining to someone in an even crappier job situation. But it’s important to distinguish between communicating to ‘vent’ versus communicating to ‘explore’. Even your most patient and supportive friends won’t tolerate venting for long. But when you invite someone to have a conversation with you that will help you explore where you’re at and where you should go next, suddenly there’s hope! You’re seeking ways to make progress and that subtle shift in the purpose of your conversation is the difference between me, as your dear friend, tolerating you for a 2 minute phone call compared to me, your dear friend, happily participating in a stimulating two-way dinner conversation.Sometimes we’re just not able (or willing) to see obvious ways to execute a career course-correct. Or, sometimes we’re too scared to confront our weaknesses. And sometimes it just takes someone really close to us to give us that push (or butt-kicking) that sets us straight. Whatever you do, don’t dismiss or discount the input of those closest to you.

• Get involved.  Remember my friend who’s been weighing the pros and cons of making a lateral career move vs. gong back to school again? As part of his PLN (and a friend), I was able to see a third option that was eluding him. Since the most infuriating things about his current job were the uninspiring work and a lack of control, I suggested that he think ‘volunteer’ instead of ‘job’. Most non-profit organizations are thrilled to get self-motivated professionals that they don’t have to babysit. People with smarts, creativity, resourcefulness and a willingness to work independently for FREE are, apparently, not as abundant as you might think.I pointed my friend to Volunteer Match where he was matched to an amazing opportunity working with an international aid organization focused on education in developing countries. Not only is he finally doing inspiring, meaningful work in his spare time, he’s also building his PLN with fellow volunteers and like-minded, passionate professionals. And for the first time in a long time, he’s telling me how rewarded and challenged he feels.

The world will always be full of jobs that suck and managers that don’t get it. And it’s not always possible to (re)ignite passion for your job. But whatever you do, don’t let your job exhaust your passion for your work or your life. It’s up to you to understand your personal and professional priorities and if you still haven’t found what you’re looking for – keep looking.

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Are you thriving in a job that sucks? How did you remove the suck from stuck? Share your story. I’d love to learn from you and I’m sure others would too!